Films are filled with colours — women in particular. Every aspect is a feel good setup. Dear young man, this letter is a bitter-truth about the beautiful lie that you’re probably living in, written by a 26-year-old who would have become a film director if Christ didn’t confront.
You saw her. She saw you. In no time, looks exchanged, narrow glances, distant stares — piercing your heart, flooded emotions. Days pass, the connection grows. You create opportunities. You find her pictures, zooming into her ocean like eyes. Swimming in, drifting deeper. Losing the sight of light, hitting the bedrock. In the dark, you rave to collect quotes that describe your feelings, scroll to find those relatable reels. You send hints through WhatsApp statuses and make noise, solely to draw her attention.
The Lust, but not love
If you relate yourself to the above, I have to introduce you to another young man. I don’t know his name, but I found him in Proverbs 7. One evening, as the dark of night set in, he is on streets. On the way, he met a beautiful woman who dressed attractively and seduced him with her smooth talk. She took hold of him and kissed him, saying “I came out to meet you. Let’s enjoy ourselves with love”. And she invited him to her bed which is covered with coloured linens from Egypt. And in silence, he followed her. She is walking. He is behind her. The bible describes this moment as:
All at once he followed her like an ox going to the slaughter, like a deer stepping into a noose till an arrow pierces his liver, like a bird darting into a snare, little knowing it will cost him his life — Proverbs 22, 23
One observation is, this young man is silent, throughout the chapter. Maybe he was astonished by her eyes, beauty, or the perfume. Sometimes her vibes makes you silent. Her authoritative presence weakens your strength. “Give not thy strength unto women, nor thy ways to that which destroyeth kings.” — Proverbs 31:3. While no one knows what happened that night, the ending hinted in the last verse is heart breaking, and it is not something God would ever wish for you — “Her house is a highway to the grave, leading down to the chambers of death.”
Holding, Kissing, Meeting, Smooth talking, and in the end — Death. These are the same acts that were normalised today in the name of dating, and friendship. It could be a metaphor, but in an attempt to find “Love and Enjoyment”, the young man lost his life.
Lust starts with attraction, then deception, and then destruction.
Enough about, “What is Lust, but not love”, let us talk about, “What is Love, but not lust”.
The Love, but not Lust:
To love is to give. Simple. Bible says, "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life” — John 3:16. God in his very existence is supreme, powerful, dwelling in the most highest place in the creation. The same God loved you and me, humbled himself and appeared as a human under a matchless name called “Jesus”. All he intend is to save us from the eternal death. This is Love. While Giving is the essence of Loving, it does have certain characteristics described in 1 Corinthians 13. Now, see if you find below traits in the person whom you think they love you.
- Patient
- Kind
- Not Envious
- Not Boastful
- Not Proud
- Not Rude
- Always Trusts
- Not Self-Seeking
- Not Easily Angered
- Keeps No Record of Wrongs
- Does Not Delight in Evil
- Rejoices with the Truth
- Always Protects
- Always Hopes
If you find a only a few, that means they love you, but with “an expectation”.
Everyone Loves You With an Expectation
Your inner self will say now, “But, the girl I wish for is very kind, she is with me through thick and thin”. Alright, nice. Now let me ask you, “If you crash her core expectation, can she love you?”. Think. You gone jobless. she might love you. You’ve anger problem. she might sustain you. Diagnosed with cancer. Emotional, but she is on your side. Caught with another women. silence. she might not. Even if she can, she can’t express the same love again. By any means, I’m not trying to portray you as a person with character flaws. There’s no condemnation in Christ. I’m emphasizing a fact that “Every human loves us with an expectation”. For some it is loyalty, for others it is social status. Expectations are everywhere, in fact, that’s how matrimonial transactions operate today. Every eye is in search of finding a partner who meet their expectations. One will say yes to 5’8’’, other will prefer white skin, another needs a six figure payslip, or a mercedes.
We all are self inclined, and selfish. We’re not filled with love of God.
“But I know you, that ye have not the love of God in you.” — John 5:42
In the world of people who seek, there is only one person who gave him in all. Including his blood.
Christ loves you as if you were the only person existing on the earth. Hard to believe, right. I know. It is very easy to believe when someone who expects a lot from us says “I love you”, and it is equally hard to believe when someone who gave everything for us says “I love you”. This will be hard until you realize the value of what has been given to you.
The Agape Love
Lust expects. Love gives.
Her eyes are adorned, Jesus’ eyes are pierced. Her lips are made up, his have lost their shape. Her body is polished, his is ploughed. Her smile is vibrant, his face is only red. She walks on petals, he on stones. She smells like an orange, he like a blood clot. The pungent smell of blood stirs sour thoughts. His jawline is barely defined, with no smooth surface. Thorns and slowly dripping blood show love. The protruding bones and countless tissue tears speak for you. The dry tongue and hope-filled eyes call out. The silence of the loving God. The driving motive to showcase love at every stage. The crucified face of Christ is Love. The agape love. This Truth will set you free. Forever.
As routine it may sound, as many times you may hear — Jesus Loves you. period.
Joy Stephen | Sep 19, 2024